Understanding Your Teen’s Mood Swings and 4 Ways to Help!
“We used to be friends, and now he says I just don’t understand him”
“She’s irritated all the time—it’s like walking on eggshells.”
If you’re raising a teenager, chances are you’ve had thoughts like these more than once.
Teenagers being moody or having mood swings are one of the most common concerns parents share with me during consultations. And understandably so—teen years can feel like a rollercoaster, both for the adolescent and the family. But while hormonal changes are a big piece of the puzzle, they aren’t the whole story. Let’s unpack what really goes on during these emotionally intense years—and when you should take a closer look.
What’s Normal in Teenage Mood Swings?
Teenagers go through a surge of hormonal, social, and brain development changes on the inside, however, on the outside they can look somewhat like:
- Irritability and frustration over small issues
- Crying spells without a clear reason
- Sudden joy followed by withdrawal
- Feeling misunderstood or isolated
- Intense reactions to peer pressure or academic expectations
This list is not exhaustive, ask parents of teenagers! Depending on their context, individuality, teenagers will show differences in behaviour when it especially comes to areas that regulate emotion, risk-taking, and reasoning . Sleep cycle changes, identity exploration, body image issues, and first experiences with relationships further impact this phase of life.
So yes, hormones are real, and they do cause some of the stormy weather. But it’s not just about biology—it’s about context. Context means good news! It means that there is something you can do about it. Let’s see how!
Identifying When It’s More Than Just Hormones
As parents and caregivers, it’s important to watch for patterns that don’t settle over time or begin to affect everyday functioning. Some red flags might include:
1.Don’t brush it off—but don’t jump to worst-case scenarios either
It’s natural to worry when your child seems “off,” but try to pause and notice—is this just a bad day or something that’s been building?
Sometimes a single meltdown is just that. But if you notice a pattern, trust your gut. Your calm presence can be more helpful than you think.
2.Lead with connection, not correction
Teens already feel like the world doesn’t get them—home doesn’t need to feel the same.
Instead of jumping in with “What’s wrong now?” try a gentler, “You’ve been quiet today. Want to talk?”
Even if they say no, you’ve shown up—and that matters.
3.Boundaries are okay—kindness within them is even better
Mood swings don’t mean your teen gets a free pass to be rude or hurtful. But how we hold limits makes all the difference. Use statements such as , “I understand you’re angry. But it’s not okay to slam the door.”
You’re showing them that feelings are okay, but actions have boundaries.
4.Reach out if it feels too much
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things feel stuck or overwhelming. That’s okay.
You’re not failing—you’re human. Talking to a professional can bring clarity and support, both for you and your child. Sometimes, just one conversation can shift things.
Teen mood swings are real—and exhausting—for everyone involved. But they’re also a doorway into understanding what your child is going through. Some of it is developmental, some of it might be emotional distress, and all of it is worth listening to. It is best to speak to your teen and see if they are open to the idea of speaking to a professional.
If you’re worried, unsure, or simply need a space to make sense of your teen’s behavior, know that help is available.
You’re not alone in this journey. And neither is your teen.