It is a statistic that keeps me up at night, and it should concern every parent in India: childhood and adolescent suicide rates have risen by almost 65% in the last decade.
When I share this with parents, the reaction is almost always the same—a mix of shock and paralyzing fear. “God forbid it’s my child,” they think. Or they tell me, “But Tania, my child doesn’t even talk to me anymore. How would I know if they were struggling?”
As a Child and Adolescent Psychologist, I am here to tell you that while the fear is real, you are not helpless. You don’t need to be a mind reader to help your teenager; you just need to adjust your approach.
In my latest video, I break down three critical changes you need to make in your parenting style to support your teen’s mental health.
1. Find the Balance Between Autonomy and Boundaries
Adolescence is a confusing phase. Your child is pulling away to find their own identity (autonomy), but they still need your safety net (boundaries). They might start locking their doors, skipping their old routines like timely baths or study tables, and demanding privacy.
The mistake many parents make is swinging to extremes. Either they let go completely (“They are teenagers now, let them be”), or they clamp down too hard (“Why aren’t you doing things exactly like you did when you were 10?”).
You have to find the middle ground. It is okay to let some things slide. Pick your battles. Give them space, but keep the core safety boundaries intact.
2. Listen to the “Why,” Not Just the “What”
Teenagers often say shocking things. Your child might suddenly say, “I hate it here,” “I want to kill everyone,” or even “I want to kill myself.”
As a parent, your instinct is to react with anger (“How dare you say that!”) or dismissal (“Oh, stop being dramatic”). Both are dangerous. Instead of reacting to the words, listen to the reason.
Why are they saying this? Is there bullying at school? Is there pressure at home? Are they unable to cope with an emotion? When they lash out, they are often trying to communicate pain that they don’t have the vocabulary for. Be the detective, not the judge.
3. The Phone Is Not Always the Enemy
We love to blame the phone. “Take the phone away” is the universal solution for every parenting problem. But we need to ask ourselves why they are on the phone.
If your child is spending hours on Roblox or talking to strangers online, it’s often because they feel lonely in their real life. Think about it: between school, tuition, and homework, their day is packed. And when they do talk to you, is it a connection, or is it an interrogation? “How were marks?” “Did you study?” “Why is your room messy?”
If every conversation is a performance review, they will retreat to their screens where they feel accepted. Try having regular conversations that have nothing to do with their achievements. It takes time, and they might be cautious at first, but don’t give up.
We Need to Upgrade Our Parenting Skills
The world has changed, and the pressures our children face have changed. We cannot use the same parenting scripts our parents used on us. We have to upgrade our skills to keep our children safe.
If you are worried and don’t know how to start these conversations, I am here to help.
Watch my quick guide on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/geLqQYs7doM
To book a consultation, contact options are available at https://www.psykapoor.com/contact/, or you can book via WhatsApp at +91 9958866865.